


drunk on this pain

by indigo_stars



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_stars/pseuds/indigo_stars
Summary: Ash burned Obi-Wan’s lungs as he tried to breathe in the fumes. His eyes stung viscously, though whether it was from the air or tears, he did not know.A blur of blue flashed before him, and his lightsaber met Anakin’s with a harmonious crash.[or; the battle on Mustafar ends differently]
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 22
Kudos: 41





	drunk on this pain

Ash burned Obi-Wan’s lungs as he tried to breathe in the fumes. His eyes stung viscously, though whether it was from the air or tears, he did not know.

A blur of blue flashed before him, and his lightsaber met Anakin’s with a harmonious crash. 

For a second, their eyes locked; Obi-Wan’s blue meeting Anakin’s. He desperately wished to see the familiar blues of his friend, but all he was met with was the wild gold eyes of a stranger. An enemy. 

Anakin’s face twisted into a snarl; it distorted his features, making him look exactly like the fallen angel that he was. 

Obi-Wan’s heart twisted. He nearly lost his grip on his lightsaber, but managed to hold onto it and briefly shove Anakin away. 

On and on they went; master against student, friend against friend. Brother against brother. Neither could get the upper hand, as they were far too easily matched. Obi-Wan could make out Anakin’s attacks before they occurred, and Anakin could defend himself before Obi-Wan’s swings hit its mark.

They knew each other too well to inflict any real physical injury, though Obi-Wan knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable.

Only one of them would be leaving the fiery hells of this planet. The thought despaired Obi-Wan like no other.

The facility in which they fought began to fall apart, much like the galaxy itself, with Obi-Wan and Anakin at the core of it. 

And the whole time, all Obi-Wan wanted to do was to reach out to Anakin, thirteen years of instinct screaming to protect the boy he raised.

“I have failed you, Anakin!” he choked out, as the two circled another other on a river of lava, screaming profanities. Flashes of a smiling young boy passed through his mind. “I have failed you!”

The Force exploded around them. Feelings of hatred, pain, despair, and grief increased tenfold. The weight of it nearly sent Obi-Wan to his knees.

Anakin had gotten so good at shielding himself over the years, and Obi-Wan hadn’t been able to properly feel him since. 

_ Just how long have you been hurting? _

Looking at Anakin now, it had clearly been going on for a long time.

Despite himself, Obi-Wan reached out through the Force, only to be violently pushed back, with a cry of  _ Get out of my head!  _ ringing in his ears. 

Anakin’s gaze looked murderous. Somewhere in his thoughts, Obi-Wan realized that Anakin’s never looked at him like that before.

He tried his best to keep his focus as Anakin flipped himself onto Obi-Wan’s piece of floating debris. 

Six inches apart, and Obi-Wan never felt further from Anakin than he did in this moment.

Taking note of the shore coming up, Obi-Wan twisted himself around Anakin, jumping at the first chance he had. The dirt crunched beneath his boots and he stood, panting.

“It’s over, Anakin! I have the high ground!”

Anakin stood still, looking so perfectly in place with the flames that flared up around him.

“You underestimate my power,” Anakin snarled, and the words sounded so foreign, so not Anakin. But then, nothing made sense anymore.

Still, Obi-Wan knew Anakin. Knowing what he was about to do, Obi-Wan gripped his lightsaber so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“Don’t try it,” he pleaded, begged.  _ Don’t make me do it. I don’t want to. _

But if there was one thing Anakin did best, it was not listening to Obi-Wan. With a feral yell, he launched himself up into the air, propelling himself toward Obi-Wan.

Reacting, Obi-Wan thrust his lightsaber out in a wild, desperate motion. There was a strangled gasp of shock — of pain — and Anakin’s body slammed into the ground, rolling a few feet down the slope.

Breathing hard, Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber, ears ringing. He stared at Anakin’s prone form, trying hard not to think of what he’d just done — what he’d been forced to do.

Anakin lay crumpled on the ground, unmoving.

For a few moments, Obi-Wan stood there, staring, so many emotions cursing through him, only for him to feel numb and hollow inside.

Finally, Obi-Wan made to leave, only to stop when the sound of a whimper reached his ears. There was some slight movement in his peripheral vision. 

Turning around, Obi-Wan saw Anakin flip over to his back, hands gripping the deep gash across his chest. Another pitiful noise escaped him. 

And despite the rational part telling him to leave Anakin to his fate, Obi-Wan began to move down the slope; because Anakin was in pain, and Obi-Wan refused to let him be alone. He couldn’t.

Kneeling before his fallen friend, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin away from the lava bank. The last thing Anakin needed was to be burned alive.

Gently, he placed Anakin’s head on his head on his knees, the way he did thirteen years earlier with Qui-Gon on Naboo.

Anakin made feeble attempts to move away, but Obi-Wan pulled him close, holding him tightly.

Anakin hit Obi-Wan’s chest weakly. “Hate... you...” he rasped brokenly. His breath hitched with pain.

Obi-Wan brushed the sweaty hair from Anakin’s face. “You were my brother, Anakin,” he whispered. “I loved you.”

Anakin’s eyes widened. He looked so painfully young, so heartbreakingly confused. His eyes began to flicker between yellow and blue as tears began to fall down his face.

“Obi,” Anakin whimpered. His face was contorted in agony.  _ “Obi, it hurts.” _

The last time Anakin had called him that, he was ten and laughing from his latest prank. There was a lump in Obi-Wan’s throat and he found it hard to swallow. “I know, little one.”

Anakin let out a choked sob, tears mixing with the ash on his face. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan repeated, eyes burning. “I’m sorry too.”

The younger moaned, curling into Obi-Wan. “Thank you.” His voice was small, barely a whisper. “Thank you.”

_ For what, _ Obi-Wan wanted to cry, though deep down, he knew what Anakin was trying to say. 

_ Thank you for ending it. _

A shudder passed through Anakin’s body once more before going limp. One last final breath, and he was gone. Blue eyes staring unseeingly at the red sky.

The tattered remains of their bond shattered, and something deep within Obi-Wan broke.

A strangled noise ripped itself from the back of his throat, wounded and raw. He wrapped his arms around Anakin, shaking and weeping and unable to let go.

*******

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is brought to you buy: me listening to "my tears ricochet" on repeat and sobbing.
> 
> feel free to come scream at me on [tumblr](https://indigostars.tumblr.com/) :)
> 
> as always, kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!


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